Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
