I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
