Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
