Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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