Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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