she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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