Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
