Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
