I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
