Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
