we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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