Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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