He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Damn victory sex feels great
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
