but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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