i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i think i have two assholes
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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