Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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