She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
