hell yes lets make some ravioli
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
