i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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