yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
