i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
