I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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