Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.

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(231): View more from Michigan

my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring

(989): View more from Michigan

i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me

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(703): View more from Virginia

drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip

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(406): View more from Montana

All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(859): View more from Kentucky

Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay

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(406): View more from Montana

I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina

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(229): View more from Georgia

She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow

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(513): View more from Ohio

I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.

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