Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
