when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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