David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
