coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
