I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
