we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
