No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
