arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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