Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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