your thong is hanging out like whoa
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
