we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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