I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
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