Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
