I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
