I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
