Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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