any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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