No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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