Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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