it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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