I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize