Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
