I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
