I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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