We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
