i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
