Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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