Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
