This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You ruined the universe
Randomize
