i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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