Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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