Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
