3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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