your room smells of hookers.
And success
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
