No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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