I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
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I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
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I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
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