she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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