I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Sorry about my life...
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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